I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
