I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
