In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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