I love black thongs
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
