OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
