You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
