why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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