I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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