On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he was CRYING into my vagina
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
