Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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