TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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