She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
