kristin has been a bad kristin
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
