Already got asked if we're dating
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
