the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
