She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so let's talk penis.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
