onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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