Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
