I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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