What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I need to sanitize my soul.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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