I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
