Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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