Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
