There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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