Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
