I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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