And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
