Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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