I think I am morally bankrupt
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
