Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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