I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
