Its about making memories worth repressing
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Randomize
