Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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