Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
