ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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