Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
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It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
