Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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