and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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