when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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