I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I need moral support for this bender
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
