is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
