Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
whose ass print is on the piano?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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