**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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