so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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