Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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