hotel room ftw
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
