Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
