I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
