I wanna bring you to show and tell
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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