My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
