i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
