Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize