You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
bring money and cleavage
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
