Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
