Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Yo quero taco bell

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(206): View more from Washington

Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.

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(407): View more from Florida

i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem

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(214): View more from Texas

It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.

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(559): View more from California

I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper

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(330): View more from Ohio

Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."

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(510): View more from California

My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.

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