honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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