Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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