i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize