I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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