Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Randomize
