bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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