Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
