i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
