You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
