I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
