If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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