anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
