I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
