You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
