Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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