i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
