I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
