yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
