I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
