That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
