I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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