Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
