she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
