return my video game
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do you have feelings for this penis?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
