did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
